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Greetings everyone!

I am not exactly sure how I managed to be up before noon, but hey I guess that means that my entire day is not all lost.

Last night, was our long awaited shadowcast presentation of Repo! The Genetic Opera. And I don't have enough words to convey every minute detail of this unforgettable experience.

Still, I will try my best to re-cap things from my perspective anyway.

My wonderful friend who I have affectionately named Peddybear came and rescued me from my new apartment and my fatigued disposition after having spend almost the entirety of the last twenty-four hours moving everything I owned and then some into my new THIRD FLOOR APARTMENT.

When I arrived at Key Sam's "Best Directior Ever"'s house, I was overcome with a wave of nostaligia. I had only been gone two weeks but it felt like I hadn't seen anyone in two months. Just as I suspected everyone was happy to have "Cookie" back and Cookie was happy to be back.

If there was any instance that confirmed how masochistic I really am, it would have been me walking around in five inch white nurse/stripper shoes(which literally were the sex let me tell you >:]) just to make sure that I had at least some time to break them in before I would be taking the stage. No other pair of shoes had given that much pain..nor that pleasure I might add. I somehow felt after those shoes were on my feet, I had finally and completely assimilated the gentern persona into my repetorie.

Mid-Sam-Fam & Co pretty much decided to hang around and relax before it was time to get ready to leave for the theatre.

I am not going to go into very much detail about how hard it was to get organized in that small apartment and the fact that altogether there were about 25-3-0 people present >.<

The director's wife and Key Sam's very own Luigi had fun putting on my henchgirl makeup. Believe it or not, blue eyeshadow and lipstick actually showed up on me. And when I looked into the mirror, I knew that I so prefered being dressed as a henchgirl. ^_^(Oh wait,serious face hahaha).

To reiterate: For that night's show I was to be a henchgirl, a gentern, a scalpel slut, and then(repeat pretty much) I'll basically describe the expereiences in the order of the roles that I played.

Henchgirl: It honestly scared people how much and how well and how long I managed to stay in character. All of sudden, I had aquired a sixth sense: The ability to smell people's fear. Lia(my beloved hench-tern) and I marched around in our glasses and cold stares always following Thomas who was Key-Sam's Rotti Largo. For the time that we were outside, it was like the three of us brought Rotii Largo, his power and his presence into fruition.

And, as a special treat, other henchgirls from other Florida shadowcasts came in their cosplays and thus, as Cory(our Nathan put it)"Damn, they've tightened the security".

After we played around outside, Lia and I reported to the theatre to be Key Sam's very own henchgirls because we were literally guarding the entrances to the VIP. It was a lot of fun speaking in a low authoritative yet robotic voice, demanding not asking that patrons display their passes. According to everyone else, Lia and I were a sexy pair of "Buckingham Palace Guards".

But.. there were a few set backs, losing most of my costumes(because changing in the stair well with 20 people and their huge totes was no easy task at all) In the end, since I had lost my black glasses, fishnets, and boots I had to do the whole half of the second show barefoot in Lia's fishnets and sans glasses. And by the last scene my shirt was inside out, Owell, tis theatre. Yes, I was constantly on the verge of having another panic attack. But the cast helped me calm down and get dressed quickly. And I helped whoever I could help as well.

As a gentern: Well, despite my worst fears, I was actually able to keep my gentern shoes on despite the immense pain through out all the gentern parts that I was in.

I was very nervous during the Mark-it-up scene during which I was supposed to be stabbed by Luigi for being a clumsy spazz. But now, looking back on it, I realized that the nervousness built up the character and I think helped with the dying on the ground part.

Unfortunately, after the scene, I was freaking out again after having realized that half of my henchgirl attire went missing and thus, I could not do the car scene/henchgirl change.

During the Opra Sh't dance.. I can't even tell you. According to everyone else, I had ended up settling into character so well that I was molesting everyone especially Lia, And I suppose with our being cute and the immense sexiness of our gentern shoes, we probably made someone's day.

I was nervous once again but I tried my best to transform that anxious energy into sexy energy. And I think it worked because my ears were about to burn from all the wolf whistling and cat calling.

Also, I couldn't really see(obviously) but I hoped I actually looked cute still. In the end, bringing a white tank top to go over the bra was a very smart move because number one, Heather (my grasshopper) and I balanced the bra and panty clad Lia and Stephanie.

As a scalpel slut....

Because I was so pissed, frustrated, not to mention claustrophobic I didn't have time to change much from my night surgeon henchgirl outfit. So instead I just left the black shorts and fisnets on and then threw on my pleather black skirt and white gentern tank. and slutted up.

And trust me I remember, going down on almost all the genterns and I got to molest Graverober who didn't give me any zydrate ugh.. Oh well.

And then the show ended, we got applause, we got cheers and we got really, really tired because once the show was over key sam had become just a group of zombies.

And I actually ended up finding my things. When my bag dropped someone stuck it in Pyro's box for safe keeping. Yes, I wish I could have figured out that before but hey, I still managed to do the show half clothed and everything.

I swear though..next time we are arranged behind the stage curtian like that, I am just going to go outside and have someone stand in front of me.

Oh and there was one more epic fail, some gatorade ended up spilling on two of the gentern dresses one of which was mine. But Lia's wonderful mother who helped her make these amazing dresses is washing them as I speak and so all's well that ends well.

Which reminds me, it seemed that everyone's family was there except mine..T_T. Oh well, I guess, I got hugs from Pyro, Lia, and Miwa's mum so I just pretended that they were mine for a few seconds to make me feel better.

And so, after we finally left we all gathered at Denny's to creep out the normal people, socialize and get a little something to eat. I had a bit of fries, so that I wouldn't get what I really wanted a really tall milkshake. (om-nom-nom) At any rate,if its any consolation, I was able to eat healthy the entire weekend. (oh crap, the cookies) Okay, mostly but I am working on it. I am on my way to the gym as we speak.

PLUS, it was so awesome finally reuiniting with the woman who inadvertedly made this all possible. Bri.. because if I didn't meet here.. my life would be a lot more boring but then again.. I would still be pure and not almost completely corrupt. Oh well ~.^

At any rate, its offically back to school today, new semester, lots of goals, lots of things I want to accomplish to prepare myself for senior year, grad school app. ilications, license, and internships. The year isn't over it.. so I haven't lost hope. In fact, I feel like my drive for ambition has increased and re-generated itself ten hold.

Repo and Key Sam was playtime..but playtime is over. Its back to work, back to school, back to eating healthy for goodness sakes!!

Hell, it was an amazing summer.. and I don't regret any of it, None of it at all.


P.S: Ask a gentern if zydrate is right for you.

Safety Dance

"We can dance if we want to.. We can leave our friends behind. Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine."

Safety Dance and Zydrate anatomy have been put on repeat track all week.


It's been a while, haven't written in some time.

Well, I am a little bit happier these days, now that Mr.Sun has come out from sulking like the rest of us.

Had a pretty amazing time at Jacon. Now with two cons under my belt I actually feel like a full fledged geek ^_^

And I am already thinking of ideas for Mega next year... Its going to be epic.

Now, that a good number of my friends are back in town and back in class, I longer have to listen to the scary voices in my head to satisfy my need for conversation.

I have been having fun with anime marathons, job hunting adventures around waterford, and clubbing downtown.

Still, I am extremely homesick.. fourth of july weekend can't come soon enough '-_-. I actually miss my family.. A little lol.

Thank goodness, my grandmother is going to be out of the hospital soon.

Oh.. and maybe just maybe.. I might be actually finding work??? *crosses fingers* I want a job so badly for a many reasons of course.

The most prominent of which is to start saving for a car...my grandpa's already helped. Seriously if I ended up getting work on days that im off I will be filling it with driving lessons and volunteering.

Yay for having things to do.

Definitely trying to make the most of this summer.

And as for dating life...heh! Let's just say.. I feel like the "Tin Princess" if you understand the reference then you will understand my situation.

Right now, I am most looking forward to be possibly getting kidnapped by one of my amazing friends, my date with my two "gay boyfriends" whom I love so much and seriously don't see enough, and lastly going to the beach next week.

I have my fingers crossed behind my back...Let's see what happens. byes!


"Out of My Mind" Leave a message

So, I am just going to make this extremely quick.

I feel a panic attack coming on... I am so stressed. I feel like there are some many loose strings to be tied and yet I continue to walk everyday despite the fact that these goddamn laces keep tripping me up.

So much to do, and don't feel like I am even close.

I feel very,very, very weak right now.

Hope everyone is doing a lot better than I am.

Ciao bellas!

What to Expect For Your First Time

The other night, I was in that "I don't freaking feel like studying" kind of mood.

So,whatever did I do?

Surfed the internets of course.

I was actually reminscing about my experience at my first con. Megacon to be exact. And I came upon some blogs and articles about how to prepare and how to survive a con.

And then I thought, how much fun would it be to write my own Con survival manual from a "newly non-virgin's perspective?

^_^ Well here it is!!!

"What to Expect For Your First Time... Going to an anime/comic/gaming convention"

Hello virgins! Rini chan desu! And today, we will be discussing

1)Should you even go to a Con? Won't there be weird, scary people?

2)How should I plan for a Con?

3)What should I watch out for when going to a Con?

4)How much do Cons cost?

5) What goes on at Cons?

6)What should I do and not do at a Con?

7) And most important, will I have fun?

Right then, now that we have layed everything out, we're all set to begin ^_^

1) Should you go to a Con?

Well, that's the same thing you ask when you're considering going to a Rock Concert, or thinking about back packing to Europe. "Should I really go?" The important thing to note here is that Cons provide a completely different and unique experience.

If you are willing to keep an open mind, endure having your ears temporarily assailed by screaming fans, walking for hours on end, and living on straight sugar from 1-3 days straight.
Then a con is an adventure that you should definitely embark on!

Okay, so its not all that bad. Here are the pros instead of the cons.*Oops No pun intended*

a)You get to meet tons of interesting people who may share a lot of your interests!
It was Day 1 of Megacon and I hadn't been there two hours before I made four friends just
by walking around the Dealer Room.(Note: Its the place where the hub of the Con takes place.
Its a Geeky Agora that has anything and everything you could ever want to get your hands on.

b)Having said that, There's never a dull momment. People are always doing something. Dancing to their favorite anime openings, Taking pictures of other people dressed up as their favorite anime/comic/gaming characters, window shopping at all the stands, playing games in a big circle of strangers turned friends, Drawing in their sketch books, or just filming all of the above madness.

c)Everyone is really friendly. All of the staff, people I randomly ran into, or wanted to take pictures of or with were extremely enthusiastic and nice. They made me feel very fortunate and priviledged to be there. And I learned so much while also going up a level or two in otakudom ^^V

2) How should I plan for a Con?

I probably should have made this as number one because planning is not only half of the fun of anticipating going to a con but proper planning can make your first time experience all the more enjoyable and more importantly, ALOT LESS STRESSFUL.

a)Once you've decided that you want to go to a Con, pre-order your ticket online!
They are alot cheaper especially the earlier you buy them. Plus, you don't have to wait in the
ridiculously long line once you get there. Its like Judgement day and wouldn't you rather just
hurry up and get to heaven? Exactly.

b)Pack the night before!
One important thing to remember, don't pack like you're going to Paris fashion week.
You don't need that many outfits. And as I have learned the hard way, the more outfits
you pack, the less space you have for other things namely goodies you may want to buy at the con. If you want to dress up (cosplay) that's fine. But you don't need to cosplay twice.
Most people to save time and energy wear their cosplay outfit the first two days and then wear something normal by sunday when"Con crash" attacks them(More on that later)

c)Ignore the above if you're only going for one day. But if you're doing the three days which I highly recommend,then pack the essentials (toothbrush, underwear, soap lolz) but pack lightly as you can. My friend and I liked to hotel hop alot so it would have been a huge pain in the arse if we were carrying heavy bags.

d)FOOD and Water!I don't care how much you want to have fun. You're going to need energy lots of it! At Mega, there was karyoke, a rave, *mini-day raves*, and just maddness.

So stock up on energy bars, water bottles, candy, small little snacks that can be tucked safely in your day bag/purse/or pocket.

Food is notoriously expensive at Cons, so its good to have little snacks throughout the day and then maybe do a big meal late afternoon early evening. Plus, you save a lot more money!

$9.00 for bourbon chicken? I'll pass (Or if you must, you can split it between you and a friend. They give too much food anyway and trust me, you won't be spending even one fourth of your stay eating.

d)Money.. this is even more important. And even more important is how quickly it shall disappear from your nimble little fingers.

What I have learned..

Don't go blow you're entire bank account even while it may be tempting.(They've got tons of cool stuff on sale. even things you never knew that you've always wanted.

Especially because most stands don't take card. so try to set aside some cash for emergencies or
for like a must have item. if you must lol.

I knew I lost my con virginity when I stepped foot into the their dealerroom.
I wanted to buy everything right then and there.

The trick is to wait til Sunday. Sunday is like a huge clearance sale for the con. So that death note backpack that you wanted friday for 48 dollars might be 24 dollars on sunday.

Also, try to bargain, if you suck at bargaining, ask someone who knows how to bargain for you.
Your wallet will thank you. Especially when you'll see something else that you've wanted at the very last minute.

3) What to Watch out for at Cons

Okay, remember what I said about having an open mind.. you better believe that you should have one.

As I have said before, there is never a dull momment at a con, but that is also due to the fact that almost anything goes.

Its perfectly normal to see people
In the most outlandish fashions imaginable (After all, where and when else can you wear tape around your body for a dress, see old middle age guys in sailor uniform (Seriously!), People wearing collars that are attached to leashes attached to their friends/significant others.

Maybe all of the above would shock you, amaze you, inspire you, gross you out, or turn you on, but the important thing again is to be respectful. Cons are a great opportunity for self expression. Its one of the few places and excuses that people have to completely let go of most of their inhibitions in public!

b)Long lines..Just like anywhere else you go that will long lines. The same rules apply.
Get there early and figure out in advance what events/panels you want to attend. Its like disney world, you won't get to do everything because there's so much to do. So focus on doing what you want to do first and then the rest of the time is free to do whatever else you suddenly want to do.

Especially for the cosplay(costume contest) This is a notoriously long event. So definitely get there an hour early.


Are you the type of person who enjoys spontaneous tackle hugs from strangers?
If you not, then I suggest you either hide or wear a "DO NOT GLOMP ME"sign(Hopefully, they won't ignore it!)

Glomping is sort of like rape but in hug form. It usually happens when you least expect it and it usually will have you on the ground in thirty seconds.

Glomping is done among friends, among friends who haven't seen eachother in a while, and among strangers! Yes strangers.

I found that glomping is the best way to get someone's attention For example, I glomped a speed racer cosplayer in order to stop him for a picture! , or to let a friend you were meeting know that you have arrived. Or glomping can even be used in the form of flirting. Because at a con, its perfectly acceptable to glomp that cute person. Glomping is sexually ambiguous so be careful, and have fun >:)

4) How much do cons cost?

The rule of thumb here is that the earlier you purchase your con ticket, then the cheaper it is.

What my friend and I learned the hard way was that we had to pay fifty five dollars (in cash, they don't take card!!!) upfront at the door day 1 of the con because we didn't pre-order!

Mind you for Megacon, it was already 50.00 bucks pre-order but its also a three day ticket.

If you're only going for one day its only 24 bucks.

And JACON's tickets started at 27.00 then went up to 37.00 and will soon cost 45.00 bucks (For the three days mind you.

So again, early should be your favorite word when its comes to a con.

5)What goes on at Cons?

Just about anything!!!

I'll just give you a laundry list of things I saw and did

1) Picture taking
2) Window shopping/Real Shopping for anything!
One can find comics, rare boxed sets of their favorite animes, swords, knives, belly dancing wear, sailor uniforms (I own one), yummy snacks from Asian countires. OH MY GOD! I almost forgot! Do not leave a con without trying POCKY! Pocky sticks are like long cookies dipped in chocolate strawberry syrup or various flavors. They keep you happy, hyper, and somewhat full.
Plus, if you don't want to buy POCKy because it isn't that cheap. People give away pocky at random or you can find someone who wants to share. Yes, sharing is a big part of cons!
3) Barbarian fighting
5)Dancing anywhere anytime
7)People drawing/handing out free drawings
8)People sleeping...This happens due to a Con crash, when a con go-er is completely worn out from the fandom and fun.So they take a nap near their friends or alone in a corner.
9)AMV contests. People make music videos using their favorite anime clips.
10)Panels-Comic book writers, voice actors, and even stars from lesser known tv shows and movies come out to talk to the fans!
12)Making amazing friends!

6)What should I do and not do at Con

1) Never, ever leave any of your belongings unattended! The con staff isn't responsible for lost items. And I know you'd be pretty pissed if your boxed set of Fruits Basket, along with your wallet and all of its contents went missing.

2)Don't insult the people who cosplay. Cosplayers may have spent weeks even months on creating their perfect outfit. So please, show some respect. Even if you think you can do better, or you hate the character or think the anime/game/etc that it came from sucks. Remember, you're a con virgin. Think you can do better? Didn't thing so..

3)Do. Try to attend as many events as you possibly can. Its make the con more fun, ensures that you're not bored. And hey, you might just find something to get into.
My friend who is a belly dancer got me to take an intro class with her and it was a blast!

4) If you find someone you want to take a picture of or with. Ask them beforehand and ask them nicely. Stars don't like the papparazzi and neither do us regular folks. Nine times out of ten, they'll be more than happy to. After all, this shows, that are also a fellow fan of their cosplay, which makes them feel appreciated and happy. If they say no, its usually because they are about to leave.

5)Don't stalk the cosplayers in the hopes of trying to get a picture. Its creepy and you wouldn't want it to happen to you. Chances, are you'll see them walking around again. And when you see them again, ask them nicely. Or try your luck with a glomp and then ask them nicely.

6) Do understand that if you're in cosplay yourself. Chances are, you're going to be stopped for hugs and pictures as well! So indulge the fans! You're a fan too remember? The more recognizable your cosplay, the more cute you look, or the more popular your theme for your cosplay is. The more you'll get stopped. If you honestly don't want a picture, then say no but nicely and thank them for asking.

Also, if you're upset that hardly anyone recognizes your cosplay. Don't feel bad! Not everyone has heard of anything. And hey, you can always educate people! If anything, you at least won't feel like a 27 of the 100 clones in your same cosplay.

7)Do try to get sleep whenever you can. Your body will thank you.

7. Will I have fun at the con?

The cons like any other kind of event are seriously what you make them. If you keep an open mind, plan in advance, be friendly, and are willing to try new things. Then you just might be in the for the best weekend of your life.

But if you hate anime, comics, people dressing in weird outfits, long lines, and rabid fan girls and boys,meeting new people, video games, and trying new things.. Then I suggest you stay home, because you will feel"EXTREMELY TORTURED" during this particular weekend.

I had an absolutely amazing time! I made tons of new friends, Got to act like a six year old without shame, and actually lost five lbs! Seriously, because I hardly ate, and I was ALWAYS up doing something.

Its an experience that I shall always treasure and best of all, there's always one before or after my birthday! Thus, instant gift to myself! ^^V

In fact, the real reason I wrote this is because I am really anticipating going to this other con I am going to in May: JACON!!!!!!! And best of all, I am going as a full-fledged vet. And so this time, I will be even more prepared, spend a lot less money and have a lot more fun!

Well, I hope this has been a big help for all those interested or just plain curious!

It WASNT my Unbirthday

Can I just start by saying that it actually feels different to be a twenty-something. Wow, I just get chills everytime those words pass through my mouth or even my thoughts.

This past week has been absolutely, unbelivably amazing and I owe it mostly to my new friends. (Please note, I still missed my old ones a great deal but you know, our paths will always cross again)

This week was filled with so many firsts

Never have I ever: been Rope Climbing, been to an Anime Convention, been to a Rave, ate pocky, drank japanese soda, rode on a rickshaw in the middle of the night wearing glow sticks, salsa danced with strangers in the middle of tourists(in rave clothes btw), raced on piggy back, went to three sleepovers in a row, shared my exact birthday with someone else( only an hour difference between our ages)been to the Rocky Horror Picture Show, been given a very sexy red corset, spent the first hours of my birthday in a lingerie shop, made so many great friends in less than a week.

So, all in all, it shall be a week to remember forever. And you better believe my twentieth birthday will rank right up there with my seventeenth, fifteenth,tenth, and seventh. ^_^.

And guess what, its not ever yet... because I am leaving in a few hours to spend it with ma famille and amis who live down south. So, looking at it in a super egotistical way.. My birthday basically lasts for another few days!!!

So.. I feel well blessed for all these experiences including all the ones I have had in my life thus far.

As I have said before, its all about the "presence" not the "presents". They mean the most, because they are cherished memories that one will hold onto for the rest of their life.

I seriously hope that as I grow older that I won't forget what it was like to be a child.. because depsite all the maddness, the pitfulls, the growings up, it was probably the happiest time in my life.

Well, gotta jet!

Happy to Study!^_^

Well...... I have pretty much narrowed down who I am going to cosplay as......

Depending on how hard it is to find items. Here are the three possible choices for my first ever cosplay!!!!!!!

1) Gogo Yubari from Kill Bill Vol.1...I have always wanted to cosplay as this psycho school girl from KBV1. She's cute and her outfit isn't impossible to put together.

All one needs is...

A dark navy blazer.
A white button down shirt (which I have)
A plaid skirt (which I also have however....I kind of want a new one because the zippers don't go)
A big red ribbon
white kneee socks
plain white shoes
my down with bangs
and a small toy dagger with a phone charm tied to it for extra authentic cuteness

2) Misa Amane from Death Note. While Misa is an annoying character, one can't deny that she is adorable. What is cool about Misa is that her style is punk lolita. Very different from my own. And that's why it would be fun to go as her because it would be such a transformation.

To pull off her look.. I would need

Black fishnets
Either a black corset or short black lace gown with lacy bodice
Red and Black plaid miniskirt
Gothic jewelry
Lace black gloves
and black lace up boots

She has also has her school uniform look
which a white button down shirt with red bow
black and white striped tights

And for accessory.....just a juicy red apple.

For hairstyle... Misa likes to wear what I like to call "micro ponytails" on the either side of the part of her hair.

I have tried this hairstyle and I am still working on it.. '-_-

And last but certaintly not least.. Yomiko Readman from Read or Die (a.k.a the paper)

A friend of mine told me that Yomiko would be the ideal cosplay for me because we're a lot like.
We both are a bit clumsy, spacey, uber polite and have an absolute obsession with books. We live at the library.

Yomiko's look is probably the easiest out of the three. It is more conservative than super cute or sexy.

Yomiko is usually wearing:

A white button down shirt
A brown vest (which I have)
A red tie
A long black skirt
Penny loafers(which I have)
A brown trench coat... (Which I don't think I'll do because that particular trench is super hard to find or I would have to make it. the con is in three weeks mind you.
Her hair is worn in the same style as gogo's only a little messier.
And she's always got her black glasses(Which... I guess I am going to get too HAHAHHAHA!)

And for accessories....

I could either carry a whole bunch of leather back books(checked out from the library)
or I could get my hands on white cardboard make little cutouts and boom! I've got her weapon of choice.

Advantages and Disadvanges to each cosplay character:

Adv: I can look really cute cosplaying as one of my favorite characters from Kill bill. I've always wanted to dress up as her since I first saw the movie. Her outfit is moderately difficult to put together But that would be half the fun trying to get it as authentic looking as possible
Dis Adv: If I can't find the blazer or white shoes.. then its a no-go lol

Adv: Yes, Misa is a popular character to cosplay as. There have been tons of misas clones at all the cons for two years now (ive seen pictures) However, I don't think anyone has ever seen a "Black Misa" lmao. So, that would be a first.

Dis Adv: Misa is the most difficult to cosplay as she requires lots of pieces to her costumes. And one does look a like a baby street walker if one wears this costume anywhere else other than a con, or on halloween.

Yomiko: Adv: She is the easiest character to cosplay as. I already have parts of her look. Including the glasses and bookworminess lol.

Dis Adv: Her look goes almost too well with my personality so it may be hard trying to remind myself that I am actually in character. Plus, even if I checked out all those library books I would have to carry them around.

Anywhoo..back to studying.

Caramel with a shot of Procrastination

Hi everyone!
Its me wasting time yet again before my social psychology class...
Yeah, so this is one of those times that I have the urge to right really random stuff about myself.... So here goes.

1) Apparently, the caramel macchiato that I have just finally finished drinking to the last drop didn't do much for my hyperness level. - Damn, should have just gotten candy.

2)It was so hard to stay awake in government especially while sitting directly in front of the professor. I felt bad for blinking myself awake every five minutes but luckily she let us out early.

3)Yes, I still hate the cold weather. It's not even forty degrees but I am still FREEZING COLD. Luckily, I have finally got off my butt and bought coat that is far more conducive to the weather.

4)This semester is slowly crushing my soul. I have a feeling that I'll be getting another panic attack by the end of the week. After all, I am already having trouble losing sleep. Which is usually the first sign.. at least, for me.

5) I drove from Wall Mart to my apartment last week and didn't kill anyone!!!!! And so, it just goes to show, its not that I don't know how to drive.. its just that I can't always get comfortable. But believe me, I have been working on getting lessons so that I may discard my fear altogether.

6) In addition to number five, I had the most amazing weekend last weekend!!!!!! This weekend, however is going to majorly suck. But next week is going to majorly suck. Three exams next week!!!!!!! Hooray!!!!!!

7) As a result, I am personally grounding myself this weekend :(

8) A person from my past is trying to make their way back into my present and possibly my future. Uhh... not going to happen. I have finally learned to accept this person as part of my past. It's not that I hate him. Quite in fact, its quite the contrary. Its just that I just need more water under the bridge ya know?

9)As for another person.....they're a big question mark. I just know that the big question mark makes me very happy and they're always fun to be around.

10) I am pretty sure that I am FINALLY GOING TO MY FIRST CON!!!!! I do believe that I have found someone to go with and now all that remains is to cosplay or not to cosplay? And if so, who to cosplay as?


11)My stomach is upset.......joy '-_-

If the Shoe Fits: Part Deux

Happy Friday!

Yes, it is before 8am and no, I am not heading off to class. I just happen to wake up this early.

I am pleased to report that I have found more inspiration and more time to continue this two part blog of mine on fairy tales and their influences on society. I have talked about the Prince Charming Concept and the image of femininity that society conditions women to idealize and aspire to.

However, does size matter in princessland?

The answer is obviously no. Seriously one only has to google some pictures of Disney Princesses and see that they are all very slim. They've got flat stomachs, great boobs,slender toned legs, tiny feet, long flowing locks and a face completely clear of acne!

I often wonder what Ariel would do if she not only had lost her voice to Ursula but also her crystal clear complexion. How would she win Eric over then?

There's actually this one little line in Mulan's "Honor to Us All" that always makes me twitch for a second.

"With good breeding and a tiny waist.. You'll bring honor to us all!"

So let's do some calculations here: After having been bombarded by the images of heroines we see in animated films, cover girl ads, female actresses on televison and of course, music video girls What happens to us?

We look at those images and first wonder why we don't look like them. And the second thing we do is kill ourselves to be like them.

And trust me.. "There's always something you can and should change about yourself"(Tongue in cheek btw)

You could be skinnier..
You could be curvier
You could be taller...
You could be shorter..
You could lighter..
You could be tanner..
You could have bigger boobs
You could have smaller boobs
You could have longer hair
You could have shorter hair.

And the list goes on and on and on... Notice though that each of those suggestions directly contradicts the one before it?

Frustrating isn't it? But these are the images we see every day on tv.

For example, I was bored on you tube and decided to watch Kayne's old Flashing Lights Video. I was look at the comments below because I am fascinated by how different people are under the artificial guise of annoynmity.

Over and over... I saw these comments.

"Daaaaammmmmm She's thick!" "Oh my god, what a body she has!" "Bra.. I would so tap that".
and my favorite "That hoe's fiiiiiiiinee!".

Out of all those tens of thousands of comments, I saw maybe twenty of them comment on the artistry of the video rather than the figure of the woman.

And that saddens me. Why is that we always have to comment first on how great a woman looks or even how not so great. (That hoe got hit with the ugly stick!)

Which brings me to talk about how I got inspiration for this part of the blog. I was on facebook about forty five minutes ago when I came across a note my friend wrote about body image after certain people disagreed with her ranking on the compare people application.

Now again, most of that stuff is superficial nonsense and one person's opinion if you will. But that stuff can also hurt.

People are so critical of themselves and especially of their bodies. I went through this crazy excercise regimen with my sister last summer and lost a little more than the freshman fifteen. At first, I felt great. I felt accomplished and I finally felt really attractive. But why? What was wrong with me two months before? I still had a brain. I still had friends and family who cared about me.

Well, the reason I wanted to get skinnier so badly were for the following reasons:

The first being that I had grown tired of various family members poking my stomach and making comments about "having let myself go a little" That I had gotten a bit squsihy.

The second being that I had wanted to geuninely get healthier. I don't think I ever really was that fat but I also knew that my diet was absolutely atrocious.

And lastly, because I was tired of envying the women of top model (Women who may have been a little taller than I was but also a whole lot thinner, video girls, and of course, Victoria Secret Models.

And now that I think of it, aren't these the type of girls that men fantasize and desire the most? Was I trying to fashion myself to look like them due to my subconscious primitive female need to compete for and attain for myself a worthy mate?


Might do some research about that.

Still, now being a little slimmer or so I am told that I am. Its an everyday struggle. There's this nagging voice in my head that says.. "Remember your facebook pictures? You don't want to look like that EVER AGAIN. That was ugly! Now you're beautiful! Make sure you stay that way.

What I want to do with that voice is hang it upside down and choke it but it ever nags ever still.

What I am trying to do is look in the mirror everyday (not for the reasons Gaston does)but to tell myself:

"Self, there's nothing wrong with you. You are more healthy than you have ever been. And while you may not have the biggest boobs or butt, nor the longest hair or flattest stomach. You're okay. You're you and you're unique. Celebrate that.

And maybe that's what everyone should try to do, celebrate who they are INSIDE AND OUTSIDE but its all beautiful and its all special. Despite the fact that humans have almost identical genetic components. Its those slight differences that make us so diverse and interesting as a species. In fact, I think its pretty cool that we all don't look like blobs.

In fact, I remember years back when I was with my family at Universal. It was pouring rain and everyone had donned those hideous touristy blue ponchos. You can imagine how easy it was to look for my mother then...

So maybe fairy tale princesses are a size negative 2 and have fair down to their ankles. Good for them. I know I will never be like that. In fact, most of us won't. But again like the whole notion of Prince Charming.. It's fantasy, its the ideal and therefore its not human lol.


If the Shoe Fits... Part 1.

Have I mentioned to you all that I am a closet research whore? There's not a day that goes by that I am not goggling the most random subjects impossible. Hey, if I am going to continue procrastinating at least let me learn something while I'm at it lol. Last week, was it Thursday? I had temporarily put as my status: "Celine is like Little Red.. on a path of her own."

And thus I had found my little surf and search project of the day: Reading analyses about Fairy Tales and what Fairy Tales have to say about the concepts of femininity, morality, and childhood in modern society.

Look inside my mother's garage and you will see hundreds of little story books. Yeah, I had quite a collection of those "Little Golden Books" and the rest were story books exclusively based on Disney Animated Films(Yeah know.. back in the 90's when they were good.)So you know, there was Little Mermaid.. Beauty and the Beast.. Lion King. the list could go on.. seriously.

I had also received from my godmother a Book of Classic Fairy Tales when I was ten. I am pretty sure that I still have it somewhere. It was beautiful. It was the color green and hard covered and on the cover there was an exquisite oil painting of Beauty and the Beast.

Looking back I was completely socialized from the time I was a little girl to:
Fantasize about finding my own prince charming
To identify with and revere my favorite fairy tale heroines
To adopt a certain degree of femininity( I did have my tomboy phases but at the end of the day, I feel much better when I feel I look more like a "princess"

Which brings me to my first point: Since when does looking "princesslike" synonymous with looking "feminine"?

(Oh, note to self: Must read the entirety of the Feminine Mystique)

I have a guilty pleasure of pouring over Vogue, In Style and Modern Bride. I enjoy looking at all the whimsical avant garde couture. I know damn well, no one will ever wear this stuff in real life, but its the designers sharing with us what the world looks like through their eyes. Its about acting out their own fantasies and sharing them with the public at large.

But I digress.. sometimes, I'll see headlines that incorporate classic fairy tale mantras such as: "You'll be the belle of the ball"(Remind anyone of Cinderella ?) "Feel like a Princess". "This dress fits not too small.. not to big.. but just right"(Goldilocks).

So basically, they're saying is:
"When you feel like a princess, you will feel most like a woman. You will be the "fairest of them all" and thus, your "Prince Charming" should arrive on his "White Horse" at any minute.

And thus.. this stuff sells. It's why we see so many women on television shows such as "Whose Wedding is it Anyway?", and "My Super Sweet Sixteen". They are trying so hard to make sure their wedding/sixteen is straight of out a fairy tale. Because in today's society, "Something that looks out of a fairy tale" is perfect, beautiful and timeless.

And deep down, women want to be seen as perfect, beautiful, and timeless.

And who exactly is Prince Charming? We hear about him, in songs, from happy girlfriends, wives, or just girls with crushes say" Oh him? He's my Prince Charming.

You know what makes me laugh the hardest about the concept of Prince Charming? HE NEVER HAS A Name!

So maybe, why he's so perfect, devastatingly handsome, gallant, chivalrous, a great a dancer and horseman, and rich is because he DOESN'T EXIST. He, like all the fairy tales we have grown up with are mere fantasy.

Please take heed dear readers: I am not trying to take a stab at the "Sons of Adam"(Narnia reference. In fact, I know lots of great guys who would make wonderful boyfriends, husbands, and fathers. But notice I didn't use the term perfect.

I am just trying to remind myself that by definition, humans are falliable. We will never be perfect and no one else will be perfect either. And, no one will be 100 percent perfect for "Us".

Sure, in high school back before I waded into the dating pond, I had made up a list of qualities that I wanted "The perfect boyfriend" to have and then I ripped up that list into little pieces. There is no such thing as a perfect person. Remember?

However, what people can be is compatible with each other. Yeah, E-Harmony and Match.com say something along the lines of "We'll match you with the right person based on your tests of compatibility".

For example, someone who is adventurous and driven can more compatible with someone who is spontaneous and thrill seeking. But that doesn't mean that someone can't work with someone else who is introverted and practical.

After all, while "birds of a feather flock together and opposites also attract" And these both noteworthy when considering the rules of attraction.

Well, that is the end of part 1. I will put up part 2 hopefully “before the clock strikes twelve and the “spell” of inspiration is broken”

For now, this Cinderella has to tend to her two ugly step sisters who are known as “Home work and Studying.

Change is Coming.

Disclaimer: This is not a reference to Obama's inauguration. Then again, I suppose you could argue that it is.

I just decided to write a few things before I headed on over to my Stats Lab(Yay'-_-) and my Psych class: Yay(^_^).

1: Its seriously frigid outside! My skin is feeling like porcleain again.
2. I am not eating enough and to make matters worse.. not eating balanced meals (And no.. eventhough I am in college..still NO EXCUSE!
3: I am hoping that my grandfather calls me today with good news!!!!!!! I don't want to say what it could be for fear of jinxing it lol.
4: I am tired... really tired from waking up at the break of dawn (literally) to make sure that I caught the shuttle on time.
5: I am in the mood to make cupcakes with pink frosting and sprinkles

6: I have no idea why I decided to list these mundane details of my morning.

7: Oh, yeah.. its because I am bored.

Well, will write more intelligent prose after I have gotten enough to eat and have gotten sleep. Or rather lay in bed watching last night's re run of the Daily Show and Colbert Report

Hint: The blog is going to be about fairy tales!

Stay warm! It's cold pretty much everywhere!